So I endured the time that my Sir has not been available only to see him for what amounted to a quickie. I felt bad for even wondering if he was going to leave some $ on my night stand before he left. I know it was a bad thought, but I couldn’t help how I felt.
I got a very brief reprieve from my misery, but I had trouble even looking at him towards the end of our time together because I was about to break down. I didn’t want to cause him to feel any guilt by seeing me upset.
The rest of my day was shot after he left and what keeps going through my head is “why couldn’t I come up with a reason for him to have not come over.” I think it would’ve been easier on me had he not come here because now I will have to wait to see him. He has a busy schedule coming up and won’t be accessible via our way of communicating very much, so that is going to be rough on me, but what he doesn’t know yet, is I’m not going to be around probably when he is.
In order to protect and take care of myself, I know what I have to do during this respite.